Action to be taken to avail 50% concession for property tax for defence personnel in Karnataka

Sqn Ldr C S Chandramouli (Retd)
[ D, 453 Jal Vayu Vihar]

[S/L Chandra mouli is an ever helpful JVVian. In case of any clarification please contact him at – chandruma@gmail.com  – Wg Cdr JP]

You are required to send an application to Joint Director, Dept. of Sainik, welfare and Resettlement at Bangalore to issue a certificate for claiming exemption of 50% property tax as per section 94 A (b) of Karnataka Municipality Act 1964 ( Karnataka Act 22 of 1964).

The following documents are to be attached along with this application.

a)    Copy of Ex-Serviceman Card issued by Sainik Welfare Board, Bangalore
b)    Copy of service record on retirement
c)    Copy of sale deed/building sale letter
d)   Copy of Katha
e)    Copy of tax paid receipt.

You have to fill up SAS Application, workout the tax to be paid with the concession, attaching the following.

1.    Green Form (Waste management cess)

2.    Concession grant certificate from Sainik Welfare Board, Bangalore<span
3.    ID card by Sainik Welfare Board, Bangalore
4.    ID card of retired officer
5.    Receipt 2008-2009.
6.    Receipt 2012-13 or the latest.
7.    Certificate in kannada (self decleration)

Why Women Should Consider Joining The Indian Armed Forces

1. Unlike the private sector, there is no disparity in pay.

Its true. All the officers of the same rank get the same salary. Inconsistency in salaries is still a common problem in several fields elsewhere, but that’s not the case with the Armed Forces.

2. Every officer gets equal opportunity to succeed.

There is a straight way to rise up the ladder, and everybody has to clear tests at regular intervals. These determine your future, nothing else.

3. Women can now fly fighter planes, and take up other combat roles.

4. The military nursing service is a highly reputed branch of the Army, and a great place to work for women.

Its literally the department that keeps the army going. This is the department that cures people and takes care of them.

5. In fact, if teaching is your passion the Army Education Core has women employees that are involved in training.

6. All officers, men and women, get to lead and manage massive troops.

Leading a big troop is the best way to imbibe a team spirit and leadership values. The Armed Forces is the avenue that will teach you these skills like no other place in the world.

7. Armed forces are the only government entity where you are assured a pension on retirement.

Earlier women joined the Army for a short period of time in which pension and other benefits were unavailable. But, in 2010, the Delhi High Court granted women permanent commission in the Army which includes added benefits. Well, that is good news since your finances even after retirement are secured.

8. The Armed Forces allow you to continue your studies while serving the Army.

Now that is a win-win for sure. For those of you who want to get another degree or further their career after the Army, the Armed Forces is a great option. You have options to opt for courses, or take a study leave if you wish to.

9. Women leading contingents are making headlines everywhere, so you know the opportunities are spread far and wide.

10. And aren’t the uniforms just classy?

11. The respect you will command in and outside the forces will be priceless.

Ladies, are you listening? It’s time to conquer the world!

On this women’s Day, read this true story of a woman by a woman !

 

When Three Children and Their Mother Met an Angel Aboard the Sampark Kranti Express

This amazing real life incident will restore your faith in humanity.

May 7 , 2006. I was 8 years old back then. My mom, younger sister(7), brother (3), and I were going to New Delhi. We boarded Sampark Kranti Express at 11 am that Sunday morning — sleeper class, as the AC coaches were booked — during our vacation. Anyway, we were cool with sleeper class also. Does it even matter to 10-year-olds?

Pooja with her family when she was young.

Pooja with her family when she was young.

At around 12:15 pm , my mom complained of a slight headache. It was peak summer. So she asked me for a glass of water from the water cooler. As soon as I handed her the glass she fell down with a thud and went unconscious.

With the help of my sister, I lifted her and laid her on the seat. It was all really scary. Her body was burning with fever and she was clutching my sister’s hand really tight. Three seats away from us were two young guys who said they were doctors. They advised me to shift my mom to the AC coach as that would help bring down her temperature. My younger siblings and I were crying as we did not know what to do. I was talking to my Dad on the phone all this while and my sister was all alone taking care of my baby brother –consoling him, while fighting her own tears.

So the two doctors shifted my mom to the AC coach. As soon as they put her down on a seat, my mom vomited while still unconscious. I ran back to my seat and bought a fresh set of salwar kameez and changed her dress. While the people from my coach continued being by my mom’s side, doing all they could, I was crying hysterically and pleading with everyone to help us!

As I reached the end of the coach , I approached a woman in her 20s. Seeing me crying , she immediately hugged me and went with me where my mom was. Apparently, she was a doctor herself.

She checked my mom and immediately called my dad, saying that if mom didn’t get any treatment right away we would lose her. That broke my heart.

If any of you has been on Sampark Kranti Express, you know it does not stop anywhere, barring 2-3 major stations. The situation was grave.

Finally, this woman herself pulled the chain as the train approached Ballarshah, Maharashtra. She called for a wheelchair at the station, got our and her own luggage down from the train, and headed immediately for the nearest hospital, all single-handedly in a completely unknown city!

We reached the nearest railway hospital and guess what? No doctors! Next, she hired two autos and we went to a private hospital where they said they did not have ICU facility and everything needed for my mom’s treatment. Her fever was soaring at 108`F and if not catered to immediately she would lose her life. The fever would reach her brain and she would suffer a brain hemorrhage.

The great lady did not give up. She hired a private ambulance and headed immediately for Chandrapur , one hour from Ballarshah, the nearest city with adequate facilities.

All through this chaos, she put on a strong face, fighting with concerned authorities for failing to do their duty, and the autowallahs who refused to take us and a patient! She consoled us and said that it will all be okay.  It was in the ambulance only she asked about us and also told me her name – Pooja Bangde – a name I will never forget in this lifetime!

When we reached Chandrapur , she admitted my mom in the ICU of Spandan Hospital under Dr.Vishwas Zade. And then she took us to her acquaintance’s place to spend the night. Lovely people, God bless them!

Meanwhile, her family was scolding her on the phone for getting down at an unknown place and taking such a huge risk for strangers.

pixlr_20160218173423314 (1)

Pooja and her family now.

I still remember what she said to them in reply. “Mummy, yaha pe teen chote bacche bhi hai. Unka kya hota? Main unko akela nahi chodh sakti thi. Sorry (Mom, there are 3 little kids here. What about them? I could not leave them alone. Sorry),” she said , with a lump in her throat. The next morning, my dad reached the hospital directly. We set out for the hospital.

My mom was slowly regaining consciousness. My dad, who was crying, thanked Pooja ma’am profusely and tried to give money for all the expenses she had incurred. She refused at once, saying: “Sir, ye mera kaam tha (Sir, it was my job)!” By this time, her father-in-law had reached there. She went to my mom one last time and said, “Apna khayal rakhiyega (Take care of yourself).”

And somewhere around that time, when I got busy with my mom as she was regaining consciousness, Pooja ma’am left the place, without ever giving me the chance to thank her.

Just like that. Like the Messiah, she had fulfilled her duty. And now it was time to go.

Thank you ma’am, for that day you did not just save one life but four others too.

Thank you ma’am for that because you could have just turned a blind eye like many others on that train chose to do. But you stood up for us and helped complete strangers whom you knew you would probably never meet again. And thank you ma’am, you restored my faith in humanity. What you did was an act of sheer courage!

If you are reading this, PLEASE contact me, I’ve been searching for you for years in vain. Please.

Also, a huge shout out to the Dhiman family who hosted us that night. I had the chance to reconnect with them recently and they are doing their best to give me any leads they can on the whereabouts of Pooja ma’am. Love you guys!

Guys, please let this reach her. I will be indebted to you. Forever.

This incredible story was forwarded to me by a friend.

When I googled, there are many  Pooja Bangdes on FB.

Did the real one get in touch with the grateful family??

I went through the publisher’s website [www.thebetterindia.com] of this story, and found it to be very POSITIVE+. Have a dekho – Wg Cdr JP

The Better India logo

 

The JVVian Doctor turned Author

Retired doctor turned author, Eva Bell is a JVVian, residing at D 421 JVV.An article on her  “They shall overcome”, published in METROPLUS in  The Hindu of 11 Feb 15, reproduced below. She has also contributed to our silver jubilee souvenir with an article “Living in a colony”.Long live her tribe.
Sqn Ldr C S Chandramouli (Retd)

The message of author Eva Bell’s latest novel is that no matter what the trials, things finally turn out for the best

Courtesy – The Hindu

Encouraging themesAre the basis of Eva Bell’s novelsphoto: g.p. sampath kumarphoto: g.p. sampath kumar

Retired doctor turned author, Eva Bell is petite, yet her personality towers over you. She wins your heart with her soft voice and stories of her journey as a doctor in mission hospitals, which sound perfect for a novel.

She’s in the news for her latest book – Power Surge In Eden – published by Notionpress.com (Rs. 225). The book is about four young Indian girls.

Abandoned by their biological parents in a mission hospital, they get adopted by German families. The story is about how they cope with life and loneliness in Germany, and their longing to meet their biological parents even though they lead good lives. They return to India in their 20s and start a recreational space, Eden, for women to get rejuvenated.

Adoption is the theme of this book as “when I worked in a mission hospital, I saw many abandoned children. We had many German doctors working with us. We started an adoption campaign with them and helped 30 children find homes with European families.”

There are quite a few religious references in her book. This, says Eva, was not intentional, “but as I worked in a mission hospital, the prayer side naturally came into the book as that’s where the story begins. There’s nothing more to that.”

The story also explains the cultural differences and adjustments problems the four young girls go through as children in Germany.

“There is a lot of fact in that story. When I visited Germany for seminars, I would meet some of the children, who spoke of their trials there. Some of them went through emotional stress and rejection even though they were provided with the best. There was always this romantic notion of being reunited with their biological parents, especially during their teens. Many overcame these negative emotions with counselling and are doing well. Some even come back here to help others, which I think is beautiful.”

Eva also compares the modern world to the Garden of Eden in her book, where the girls recreate a run down home into a beautiful garden and resort just for women. “I drew my inspiration from people I met during my profession. As many patients open up to us, I have used that as a peg to build my characters on. Being a physician has helped me be a good writer as I was exposed to varied lifestyles and problems that people faced. Sometimes their emotional problems did affect me, but I had to pull up my socks and continue as there were so many more that needed help.”

Eva’s message with this story is that “the child’s loyalty must lie with his/her adopted parents. They should learn to look forward and march on.”

Till date most of her stories have had happy endings, “because it’s my way of telling people that things will end up well. That they can overcome what ever they are going through.”

Being a physician has helped me become a good writer as I was exposed to varied lifestyles and problems that people faced

Aside

Apple Cider Vinegar is Not Just for Food

Apple Cider Vinegar is often used for salad dressings, marinades, vinaigrettes, and chutneys, but that’s not all: It’s known to prolong the feeling of satiety after eating, it has well-documented anti-glycemic effects, and quite a few other uses that everyone should know about.
1. Detox Tea

Apple Cider Vinegar

 
2. Varicose Veins Remover

Apple Cider Vinegar 

Rub apple cider vinegar on your veins twice a day, and drink a teaspoon once a day.

3.All-Natural Toner

Apple Cider Vinegar

 
4. Get Rid of Warts

Apple Cider Vinegar

 
What you need:
  • Apple cider vinegar
  • Cotton wool
  • Medical tape
What you do:
  1. Clean the area.
  2. Fully soak the cotton wool with apple cider vinegar.
  3. Place the soaked wool on the wart and cover with medical tape (or bandage).
  4. Repeat daily until the wart dries out and falls off (should take up to a week).
5. Treat Nail fungus

Apple Cider Vinegar

Soak your toenail in a 1:2 solution of vinegar and water for 15 minutes a day.
6. Chemical-Free Flea Tick Repellant

Apple Cider Vinegar

 Make a 1:1 solution of water and organic apple cider vinegar in a spray bottle, and spray the dog once a week. If your dog doesn’t being sprayed, use a soaked washcloth instead.
You can also add a teaspoon of organic apple cider vinegar to the dog’s water twice a week for similar results. Be sure to only use organic ACV, as the more processed kind is not good for dogs.
7. Say “Bye Bye” to Moles

Apple Cider Vinegar

 What you need:
  • Organic apple cider vinegar
  • Sterile needle (use rubbing alcohol or fire to sterilize it)
  • Cotton wool
What to do:
  1. Clean the area.
  2. Use the sterile needle to poke a few holes in the mole. (There are no nerves, so it won’t hurt).
  3. Apply an ACV-soaked piece of cotton to the mole for 20-30 minutes.
  4. Repeat daily until the mole falls off. (Should be within a a week).
8. Effective Fruit Fly Trap

Apple Cider Vinegar

 What you need:
  • A jar
  • Raw apple cider vinegar
  • Small piece of paper
  • Liquid dish detergent
What to do:
  1. Mix 2/3 cup of apple cider vinegar and about a tablespoon of dish detergent in a jar.
  2. Create a cone out of the piece of paper and put it in the jar, as shown in the picture.
  3. Leave the jar where the fruit flies are and let the mix work its magic.
9. Homemade Weed Killer

Apple Cider Vinegar

 
Mix ½ gallon (2 liters) of apple cider vinegar, ¼ cup salt, and ½ teaspoon of liquid dish detergent. Put in a spray bottle and spray any weed you want to get rid of.

 10. Homemade Cough Remedy

Apple Cider Vinegar

  What you need:
  • 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons of honey
  • 2 tablespoons of water
  • ¼ teaspoon of cayenne pepper
  • ¼ teaspoon of ground ginger
What to do:
Mix all the ingredients in a jar and shake well to mix them. Take a teaspoon for a child aged 2-9 years, and a tablespoon for ages 10 and up.
11. Better Hair Care With Baking Soda and ACV

Apple Cider Vinegar

 

 What you need:

  • Apple cider vinegar
  • Baking soda
  • Water
  • Squeeze bottle
What to do:
Hair wash:
  1. Mix 4-5 tablespoons of baking soda with 1 cup of water and pour into a squeeze bottle.
  2. Wet your hair, then pour the mixture on it. Make sure to get it on all your hair.
  3. Let it sit for about a minute, then rinse thoroughly.
Conditioning:
  1. Make a mixture of 1:4 ACV and water.
  2. Squeeze any excess water from your hair.
  3. Cover your hair with the mixture and rub it in a regular conditioner.
  4. Thoroughly rinse your hair.
12. Soothe and Heal a Sunburn

Apple Cider Vinegar

 
Apply straight to the burn, or you can dilute it with a bit of water if it stings too much. Use a towel or washcloth and keep it on the affected for 20-30 minutes.
13. Heal Eczema

Apple Cider Vinegar

  Mix ¼ cup of apple cider vinegar with 3 cups of water and lightly apply on the affected area. Caution – it may sting
Aside
Let us go bananas

Banana, considered as ‘fruit of happiness’, contains Tryptophan Mino substance which helps in increasing ‘happy hormone’. It helps in improving your mood and emotions.

This happy fruit provides energy to nervous system which regulates your digestion and controls your blood pressure, making heart muscles strong. A ripe banana quickly helps in restoring your energy levels with three natural sugar: sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber.

Bananas© Provided by MiD-DAY Bananas

A brown-spotted banana hints that the antioxidant levels have increased. The brown spots form when the chlorophyll in the fruit begins to break down and turn into antioxidants.
It assists with weight loss and helps you in easing your hangover..
It is a brain food which helps in boosting libido.
It can help in treating stomach ulcers. It has natural heart burn therapy.
It also helps you to quit smoking and neurological disorders.

Banana peels can do much more than offering comic relief in slapstick films. Rub the inside of the banana peel over a mosquito bite to soothe the itch.

The inside of a banana peel can also heal planter warts. If you’re free from such health complaints, it’s still worth keeping your peels out of landfill. Instead, bury them in your garden; they make a great natural fertilizer.

Bananas for cancer
Over-ripe bananas produce an anti-cancer substance that combats cancer cells
With all those advantages, why not peel yourself a banana today?
With chemical antidepressants taking six to eight weeks to kick in, perhaps sufferers would be better off reaching for a quick banana fix.

(Mid-Day as seen in msn.com)

Aside

Freedom

crows 024

August fifteenth.
Independence day.
Freedom from occupation of the land
by aliens.Celebrations.

But what about freedom
from exploitation of gender and hunger
from fights over caste and religion
from inequality based on creed and region
India, my great land of legends
when are you going to be really FREE?

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The Power to Change

For header

Give me the power to dare
to reach the heights with no fear,
Instead of meekly stand and stare.

Give me the courage to defend
the innocent from injustice of any kind,
Instead of simply sit back and pretend.

Give me the strength to protect
the unique and wild to keep them intact,
Instead of finding excuses to destruct.

Give me the heart to offer
whatever is left in the coffer,
Instead of walking past those who suffer.

Give me the chance to dream
Give me the courage to dare
Give me the conviction to do.

GIVE ME THE POWER TO CHANGE,
THE POWER TO CHANGE MYSELF,
TO CHANGE MYSELF FOR THE BETTER.

FACTS ABOUT INDIA THAT WILL AMAZE YOU!!

 1. India produces 1000 varieties of mangoes!
Each of these varieties is named after colours, places, shapes, tastes, flavours, precious stones and even royalty.
2. India experiences 6 seasons in a year.
Summer monsoon, summer, winter monsoon, winter, autumn and spring.
3. India has most number of mosques in the world.
It has around 400000 mosques, exceeding the number of mosques in muslim countries as well.
4. Cotton was first spun and woven in India.

Mughals referred to the fabric as ‘cloth of running water’ or ‘morning dew’.
5. Snakes and ladders was known as ‘Mokshapat’.
Saint Gyandev invented the board game ‘Snakes and Ladders’ in the 13th century. He called it ‘Mokshapat’, in which the ladders represented virtues and snakes symbolized vices.

6. There is no land between Somnath Shiva temple and the south pole.

The Abadhit Samudra Marg, Tirsthambh (Arrow) indicates the unobstructed sea route to the South Pole.

7. World’s first university was established in India.

Takshila university, established in 700 BCE, taught about 60 subjects to more than 10,000 students from all of the world!

8. Peacock was initially bred for food.

Yes, our national bird was initially bred for food.

9. Rameshwaram Temple has the longest corridor in the world.

The corridor is 4000 feet in length with 985 richly carved pillars on both sides.

10. There is a crater in the moon named after Aryabhatta.

The famous mathematician who invented zero, also has his name on the first satellite launched by India.

11. Sanskrit is a perfect language for developing a computer software.

It is the only language that has precise syntax and grammar.

12. First successful eye transplant was performed in India.

This was done by a British Army surgeon who restored his pet antelope’s vision by taking the cornea of a recently killed antelope.

13. Arabic numerals were not invented in Arabia, but in India.

14. India has never invaded any country.

It has gone through multiple conquests and invasions, but never invaded a single country in it’s entire history!

15. Artists of Kangra school of art painted with blood!

The artists would use strange substances to paint, like blood and crushed beetles.

16. Father of Medicine and Father of Surgery, both Indians.

One of the earliest school of medicine known to mankind is Ayurveda. It was consolidated by Charaka nearly 2500 years ago.

Sushruta, father of surgery, used to conducted complicated surgical procedures 2600 years ago, without the sophisticated instruments of today.

17. Padmanabhaswamy is the world’s richest temple.

The untold riches of Thiruvananthapuram’s Sree Padmanabhaswamy temple, which was discovered four years ago and was estimated at Rs 1 lakh crore.  In terms of precious metals and precious stones, it is by far the wealthiest institution and place of worship of any kind in the recorded history of the world.

18. India has the largest postal network in the world.

It has over 1,50,000 post offices! So write letters to people to use this amazing system.

19. Diamonds were first discovered in India.

It was the only source of diamonds for the world until 1896. Now you know why the British got here.

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Tips to Think about

Rules to live by

As we grow old and hence wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or $30K watch, they both tell the same time…..

Whether we carry a a $300 or $30K wallet/handbag, the amount of money inside is the same;
Whether we drink a bottle of $30 or $3K wine, the vomiting is the same;
Whether the house we live in is 30 or 300sqm, the loneliness is the same.
Hopefully, one day you will realise, your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.
Whether you fly first or economy class, if the plane goes down, you go down with it…..
Therefore..I hope you realise, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, chat, laugh, talk, sing song, talk about north-south-east-west, heaven & earth, that’s true happiness!!

Five Undeniable Facts of Life :

  1. Don’t educate your children to be rich. ​ ​Educate them to be Happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things not the price.
  2. Best awarded words in London …”Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food”.
  3. The One who loves you will never leave you because even if there are 100 reasons to give up he will find one reason to hold on
  4. There is a lot of difference between human being and being human. A Few understand it.
  5. You are loved when you are born.You will be loved when you die. In between, You have to manage…! If you want to Walk Fast, Walk Alone..! But if you want to Walk Far, Walk Together..!!

Six Best Doctors in the World

1.Sunlight   2.Rest    3.Exercise     4.Diet    5.Self Confidence   &   6.Friends

Maintain them in all stages of Life and enjoy healthy life

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The man who made Crores from nothing.

He could just pass 10th. He was jobless. Nothing too much in the name of assets.

He reached Mumbai in search of a job. It was not a great start for him. He was looted outside the Bandra station for the only rupees 200 he had and other belongings. He lost everything excluding the clothes he was wearing.

The most unfortunate thing was that he was robbed by the person who accompanied him to Mumbai and promised a rupees 1200 per month job. Because he feared that his parents would not allow him work in Mumbai, he came to Mumbai without informing them.

Before coming to Mumbai, he worked in Chennai and earned rupees 250 a month. He would send the money to his family in Nagalapuram Village located in the Tuticorin district of Tamilnadu. His family included his parents and seven siblings.

At Bandra station in the year 1990, a 17-year-old boy who had nothing, except determination.
He did not understand Hindi. Feeling pity about his situation, a Tamilian took him to a temple and appealed visitors to contribute money and arrange a ticket for him to Chennai.But the 17 year old boy, Prem Ganapathy, was damn sure that Mumbai is going to make his life. After a bit of effort, he got a job of washing utensils at Mahim Bakery. He would earn rupees 150 per month. He continued working at several restaurants to earn and save.

In about two years, he saved some money to start his own business of selling Idlis. He hired a handcart for rupees 150 per month rent and bought some utensils along with a stove for rupees 1000. It was year 1992, when he started operating his business outside Vashi railway station.
After doing it all alone for some time. He felt the need for some manpower as his business grew. He brought two of his younger brothers to Mumbai. He ensured hygiene at the eatery and they all wore a cap. This was a surprise for his customers as roadside eateries did never care about this.

Local authorities seized his cart on many occasions and he had to pay the penalty to get it back as such carts did not get a license. In few years, he saved some money and leased a shop by giving rupees 50000 as a deposit. They paid a monthly rent of rupees 5000 and also hired two additional employees. His streetside cart was now a small restaurant.

Many of his frequent visitors were college students and he made good friendship with them. He learned using internet from them and started looking for recipes on internet. He started experimenting with dosas and in the first year itself, introduced 26 new dosas like Schezwan Dosa, Paneer Chilli Dosa and Spring Roll Dosa. By 2002, his restaurant had 105 varieties of dosa and earned a lot of fame.

However, he always dreamt of having an outlet in a mall. He approached many malls but his offer was turned down as they were reserved for big brand like McDonald’s etc.
But he got an opportunity to open his outlet in the Center One Mall at Vashi. He got the opportunity because the managerial staff at the mall were frequent visitors to his restaurant. His outlet in the mall was a big success and people started asking for the business franchise. He agreed to the offer on a condition that all the ingredients will be provided by them.

In year 2012, they had 45 restaurants across 11 Indians states and 7 at foreign nations like New Zealand, Dubai(U.A.E), Muscat (Oman). Everything under the name of The Dosa Plaza. The man who was standing outside Bandra station without a single penny with him in 1990, had set up a brand and empire of 30 crores in 2012.

Hard work always triumphs!! Kudos to Prem Ganapathy!

visit http://www.dosaplaza.com/ if you want to be a franchisee

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Will you be Mary?

MARY is the proprietor of a bar in Dublin. She realises that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronise her bar – she will go broke.

​To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around about Mary’s ‘drink now, pay later’ marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Mary’s bar.

​Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Dublin — all is starting to look rosy.
 By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands Mary gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.
Consequently, Mary’s gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognises that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Mary’s borrowing limit.He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into Drinkbonds and Alkibonds. These securities are then bundled and traded on international security markets.

The new investors don’t really understand that the securities being sold to them as ‘AAA’ secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. They have had a ‘rating house’ certify they are of good quality.
Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation’s leading brokerage houses.
One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Mary’s bar. He so informs Mary.
Mary then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but, being unemployed alcoholics, they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Since Mary cannot fulfil her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. So she now is broke.

 The bar closes and the 11 employees lose their jobs.
​Overnight, Drinkbonds and Alkibonds drop in price by 90%.
The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank’s liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.
The suppliers of Mary’s bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms’ pension funds in the various Bond securities. They find they are now faced with having to write-off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.
Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations. Her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion euro, no-strings attached cash infusion from their cronies in government.

 The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never been in Mary’s bar.
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Taking Life for granted

Please spend a few minutes to read this – it may make a HUGE difference in life (after death}

Letter written by a wife after her husband’s death in an accident

“Few things I learnt after my husband’s death:-

We always believe we will live forever. Bad things always happen to others.

Only when things hit us bang on your head you realise… Life is so unpredictable….

My husband was an IT guy, All technical. And I am a chartered accountant. Awesome combination you may think.

Techie guy so everything is on his laptop. His to do list. His e-bill and his bank statements in his email. He even maintained a folder which said IMPWDS wherein he stored all login id and passwords for all his online accounts. And even his laptop had a password. Techie guy so all the passwords were alpha-numeric with a special character not an easy one to crack. Office policy said passwords needed to be changed every 30 days. So every time I accessed his laptop I would realize it’s a new password again. I would simply opt for asking him ‘What’s the latest password instead of taking the strain to memorize it.

You may think me being a Chartered Accountant would means everything is documented and filed properly. Alas many of my chartered accountant friends would agree that the precision we follow with our office documents and papers do not flow in to day to day home life. At office you have be epitome of Reliability / Competent / Diligent etc but. At home front there is always a tomorrow.

One fine morning my hubby expired in a bike accident on his way home from office.. He was just 33. His laptop with all his data crashed. Everything on his hard disk wiped off. No folder of IMPWDS to refer back to. His mobile with all the numbers on it was smashed. But that was just the beginning. I realised I had lot to learn.

9 years married to one of the best human beings with no kids just the two of us to fall back on but now I stood all alone and lost.

Being chartered accountant helped in more ways than one but it was not enough. I needed help. His saving bank accounts, his salary bank accounts had no nominee. On his insurance his mom was the nominee and it was almost 2 years back she had expired. But this was just a start. I didn’t know the password to his email account where all his e-bill came. I didn’t know which expenses he paid by standing instructions.

His office front too was not easy. His department had changed recently. I didn’t know his reporting boss name to start with when had he last claimed his shift allowance, his mobile reimbursement.

The house we bought with all the excitement on a loan thought with our joint salary we could afford the EMI.  when the home loans guys suggested insurance on the loan, we decided the instead of paying the premium the difference in the EMI on account of the insurance could be used pay towards prepayment of the loan and get the tenure down. We never thought what we would do if we have to live on a single salary. So now there was huge EMI to look into .

I realised I was in for a long haul.

Road accident case. So everywhere I needed a Death certificate, FIR report, Post Mortem report. For everything there were forms running into pages indemnity bonds, notary, surety to stand up for you. No objections certificates from your co-heirs.

I learnt other than your house, your land, Your car, your bike are also your property. So what if you are the joint owner of the flat you don’t become the owner just because your hubby is no more. So what if your hubby expired in the bike accident and you are the nominee but if the bike is in a repairable condition .you have to get the bike transferred in your name to claim the insurance. And that was again not easy. The bike or car cannot be transferred in your name without going through a set of legal documents. Getting a Succession Certificate is another battle all together.

Then came the time you realise now you have to start changing all the bills, assets in your name. Your gas connection, electricity meter, your own house, your car, your investments and all sundries. And then change all the nominations where your own investments are concerned. And again a start of a new set of paperwork.

To say I was shaken my whole life had just turned upside down was an understatement. You realise you don’t have time to morn and grieve for the person with whom you spend the best years of your life. Because you are busy sorting all the paper work.

I realised then how much I took life for granted. I thought being a chartered accountant I am undergoing so many difficulties, what would have happened to someone who was house maker who wouldn’t understand this legal hotchpotch.

A sweet friend then told me dear this was not an end, you have no kids, your assets will be for all who stand to claim. After my hubby’s sudden death. I realised it was time I took life more seriously. I now needed to make a Will. I would have laughed if a few months back if he had asked me to make one. But now life had taken a twist.

Lessons learnt this hard way were meant to be shared. After all why should the people whom we love the most suffer after we are no more. Sorting some paperwork before we go will at least ease some of their grief.

1. Check all your nominations…
It’s a usual practice to put a name (i.e in the first place if you have mentioned it) and royally forget about it. Most of us have named our parent as a nominee for investments, bank accounts opened before marriage. We have not changed the same even years after they are no longer there with us. Even your salary account usually has no nomination.. Kindly check all your Nominations.
– Bank Accounts
– Fixed Deposits, NSC
– Bank Lockers
– Demat Accounts
– Insurance (Life, Bike or Car or Property)
– Investments
– PF Pension Forms

2. Passwords..
We have passwords for practically everything. Email accounts, Bank accounts, even for the laptop you use. What happens when your next in kin cannot access any of these simply because they do not know your password… Put it down on a paper.

3. Investments.
Every year for tax purpose we do investments. Do we maintain a excel sheet about it. If so is it on the same laptop of which the password you had not shared. Where are those physical investments hard copy.

4. Will.
Make a Will. I know you will smile even I would had I not gone through all what I did. It would have made my life lot easier a lot less paperwork. I wouldn’t had to provide an indemnity bond, get it notarised, ask surety to stand up, no objections certificates from others…

5. Liabilities.
When you take a loan say for your house or car. Check out on all the what if, what if I am not there tomorrow, what if I loose my job. Will the EMI still be within my range. If not get an insurance on the loan. The people left behind will not have to worry on something as basic as their own house.

My battles have just begun… But let us at least try and make few changes so that our loved ones would not suffer after we go. We do not know what will happen in the future. But as the Scout motto goes: Be prepared ”

NEVER TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED DO THINGS APPROPRIATE FOR THE ONES WHO DEPEND ON YOU WITH LOVE

[recd as fwd email]

Joining Common Floor group for JVV

Go to this link https://www.commonfloor.com/apt-join?p=tleauu

Fill up your details to join Common Floor Group of Jal Vayu Vihar

Come let us do YOGA

The recent post on International Yoga Day (see below) has brought a lot of positive feed back. YOGA is not an one day ‘affair’ but must remain as a life long practice that should become a daily routine, I take great pleasure in choosing some of the best (out of the hundreds of videos available on the net) and presenting it here.

Chosen for ease of explanation and follow up.

Pran Oorja – Anulom Vilom Pranayam

Pawan Muktasana

Your health is in your hands and feet, in a manner of speaking. Take it now for a healthier and happier life.

***********

~~~~~~~~~~

**********

21st June is International Yoga Day that is being celebrated all over the globe.

Join with your friends if possible, otherwise, do a few YOGA exercises including systematic breathing in your home. Relax. Spend atleast 30 minutes on Yoga.

It is for your health and happiness.

Do it everyday just like brushing your teeth and make it a habit.

See and feel the difference in a month!

Go here to know What is YOGA ?

Prime Minister Narendra Modi performing an asana at Rajpath on Sunday

Prime Minister Narendra Modi performing an asana at Rajpath on Sunday. Photo: Sandeep Saxena

Photo: The Hindu
—————–

Yoga to reduce weight

|||||||||||||||

*******************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walk – for your health

Benefits of Walking 

cid:1.3505775927@web192204.mail.sg3.yahoo.com

  • The human body is made to walk.  
  • Walking 30 minutes a day cuts the rate of people becoming diabetic by more than half and it cuts the risk of people over 60 becoming diabetic by almost 70 percent.  
  • Walking cuts the risk of stroke by more than 25 percent. 
  • Walking reduces hypertension. The body has over 100,000 miles of blood vessels. Those blood vessels are more supple and healthier when we walk.  
  • Walking cuts the risk of cancer as well as diabetes and stroke.  
  • Women who walk have a 20 percent lower likelihood of getting breast cancer and a 31 percent lower risk of getting colon cancer.  
  • Women with breast cancer who walk regularly can reduce their recurrence rate and their mortality rate by over 50 percent.  
  • The human body works better when we walk. The body resists diseases better when we walk, and the body heals faster when we walk.  
  • We don’t have to walk a lot. Thirty minutes a day has a huge impact on our health.  
  • Men who walk thirty minutes a day have a significantly lower level of prostate cancer. Men who walk regularly have a 60 percent lower risk of colon cancer.  
  • For men with prostate cancer, studies have shown that walkers have a 46 percent lower mortality rate.  
  • Walking also helps prevent depression, and people who walk regularly are more likely to see improvements in their depression.  
  • In one study, people who walked and took medication scored twice as well in 30 days as the women who only took the medication. Another study showed that depressed people who walked regularly had a significantly higher level of not being depressed in a year compared to depressed people who did not walk. The body generates endorphins when we walk. Endorphins help us feel good.  
  • Walking strengthens the heart. Walking strengthens bones. 
  • Walking improves the circulatory system.  
  • Walking generates positive neurochemicals. Healthy eating is important but dieting can trigger negative neurochemicals and can be hard to do.  
  • Walking generates positive neurochemicals. People look forward to walking and enjoy walking.  
  • And research shows that fit beats fat for many people. Walking half an hour a day has health benefits that exceed the benefits of losing 20 pounds.  
  • When we walk every day, our bodies are healthier and stronger. A single 30 minute walk can reduce blood pressure by five points for over 20 hours.  
  • Walking reduces the risk of blood clots in your legs.  
  • People who walk regularly have much lower risk of deep vein thrombosis.  
  • People who walk are less likely to catch colds, and when people get colds, walkers have a 46 percent shorter symptom time from their colds.  
  • Walking improves the health of our blood, as well. Walking is a good boost of high density cholesterol and people with high levels of HDL are less likely to have heart attacks and stroke.  
  • Walking significantly diminishes the risk of hip fracture and the need for gallstone surgery is 20 to 31 percent lower for walkers.  
  • Walking is the right thing to do. The best news is that the 30 minutes doesn’t have to be done in one lump of time. Two 15 minute walks achieve the same goals. Three 10 minute walks achieve most of those goals.  
  • We can walk 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night and achieve our walking goals.  
  • Walking feels good. It helps the body heal. It keeps the body healthy. It improves our biological health, our physical health, our psychosocial health, and helps with our emotional health. Walking can literally add years entire years to your life.
ALL ACUPRESSURE POINTS ARE IN THE SOLE OF YOUR FEET …..JUST LIKE YOUR HANDS !!
[recd as a fwd email]

Laugh and the world laughs with you!

Laughter – the best medicine

Wife : Shall I prepare Sambhar or Rasam today . Husband : First make it, we will name it later

Smiling face (black and white)Face savoring delicious food

A frustrated  husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife…
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
Face with tears of joy

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
“My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home for?”

Husband answers “Because he’s thinking of getting married”
Face with stuck-out tongue and tightly-closed eyes
Couldn’t stop sharing this one…

Husband: I found Aladin’s lamp today.

Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn’t apply on zero.
Smiling face with Sunglasses

Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??

Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga  on the lion there !
Face with stuck-out tongue and tightly-closed eyes
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn’t speak to him for 6 months.

Was the necklace FAKE?

Nooooo! That was the deal:)
Face with stuck-out tongue and winking eye
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, “the food looks delicious, let’s eat.”

Wife: honey…..you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that’s at home sweetheart……here the chef knows how to cook.
Grinning face with smiling eyes
Best Slogan on a MAN’s T-Shirt :

“Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed”
Flushed face
This is a killer:-) I could not stop laughing and I am still laughing — Great stress buster:-)

Sardar to Librarian: l want a book named “Psycho The Rapist”.

The Librarian searched  for 3 hrs then came back & Slapped the Sardar & said
Idiot the book name is “Psychotherapist” ……

Face with stuck-out tongue and winking eyeGrinning face with smiling eyesConfounded face
[recd as a fwd email]

21st June is International Yoga Day

Today is International Yoga Day that is being celebrated all over the globe.

Join with your friends if possible, otherwise, do a few YOGA exercises including systematic breathing in your home. Relax. Spend atleast 30 minutes on Yoga.

It is for your health and happiness.

Do it everyday just like brushing your teeth and make it a habit.

See and feel the difference in a month!

Go here to know Whai Is Yoga?

Prime Minister Narendra Modi performing an asana at Rajpath on Sunday.

Prime Minister Narendra Modi performing an asana at Rajpath on Sunday. Photo: Sandeep Saxena

Photo: The Hindu

———–

Yoga for Beginners

*******

Nature Cure

Here’s a question that was posed to the Dalai Lama:
“What thing about humanity surprises you the most?”
His answer is : “MAN – Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn’t enjoy the present,
And as a result he doesn’t live in the present or the future. And he lives as if he’s never going to die and then he dies having never really lived”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Click the link below to read

Book


Nature Cure – Dr HK Bhakru

(Info from – Sqn Ldr Chandramouli)

Aside

Jal Vayu Vihar, Kammanahalli Main Road, Bangalore is a landmark in Bangalore. Being associated with it, that too as an owner of a flat, is an honour.

Though the majority of the residents are ex-fauji and used to a strict ‘regimental and regulated’ life, some times, this gets reflected in the present ‘civilian – call it retired’ life in a negative way. Some times, we tend to be close minded and refuse to accept new ideas and realities.

Take for example – BOM, Board of Managers, elected every year to run the everyday affairs of this great gated community. While those elected are the ones who have volunteered to ‘face the music’, the majority of us, the so called OWNERS of the flats, unfortunately, are eternal cribbers. In everything we tend to see ‘red’ and pick on the BOM. This, surely, kills the initiative and enthusiasm of the brave ‘VOLUNTEERS’ who have dared to accept the ‘ungrateful job’.

But let me hasten to add the ‘other side of the story. Some of the elected/selected members of BOM, become ‘tigers’ overnight and tend to treat the rest as mere mortals with no mind of their own. Prey waiting to be pounced at! They would never own up the mistakes, many times done  unintentionally, but would try to cover up and sweep it under the carpets during the AGM/SGM.

With all that, let us remember, that JVV is one of the best gated community in Bangalore. Some would even say that JVV is one of the best in the COUNTRY. Fully agreed.

Still so much more can be done by ALL. With cooperation, we can ‘create wealth’ within and drastically reduce the ‘overall’ expenses in running the day to day affairs of JVV. We must treat the tenants as part of the family instead of a disagreeable ‘bahus’. They should be encouraged to participate in the AGMs as non voting members representing their owners. Agreed that this may bring more confusion if they are permitted to have the right of ‘free speech to bring out everything under the sun and the  ‘shades of common areas’.

GEO who is doing roaring business in many areas, started off from our shopping complex. Remember the days when Kammanahalli was considered a ‘Kaadu- forest’ and people would come to JVV for basic needs like making a STD phone calls from GEO’s booth, a couple of DECADES ago?

I dream of a day when JVV brings nothing but JOY!

Let us participate and be part of the solution!

I am at present a NRJ – Non Resident JVVian. Living about 6000 feet above msl  allows me to take a ‘panoramic view’ and luckily still get the emails regarding JVV through the ‘groups’ and our so called official CF portal. I enjoy going through them in depth and detail; and keeping upto date with the happenings in my second home called JVV. Incidentally, my first home in the Nilgiri hills is called “Panorama” [if you ever visit the hills – Ooty, Coonoor or Kotagiri – please do give a call. Talking to or meeting a JVVian is always a pleasure].

As long as I was in JVV, I would not miss the AGM/SGM. But it always gave the impression that ‘the  pure veg lunch’ gets  priority over the agenda points and there is always a ‘senior soul’ who is in a serious hurry to propose vote of thanks for the out going BOM. Let us face it, not many are interested to ‘face the music’ as a Prez or Sec of BOM. Fair enough, but have you ever realised that the ones who get elected/selected or NO ANGELS but ‘may’ also have some ‘ hidden interest’ to head the ‘RULING PARTYT’ for a year. I am told that there are some extra ‘perks’ that come as ‘part of the job’.

The majority of the JVVians, being typical Indians, are not interested in the ‘affairs’ nor participate in the ‘activities’ of JVV. But we do not hesitate for a minute to preach – ‘let us live peacefully and not crib or question the various decisions taken by the BOM even if they are against laws/by laws involving in the expenditure of ‘lacks’ – lacks accountability (pun intended ).

Every BOM has done many ‘excellent works’ but the truth is every BOM has also done some ‘extra works’ that needs high lighting and scrutiny. Why blame the ‘messenger’ who has the knowledge and courage of conviction to make them public?

Yes, you might have guessed about whom I am talking about. I have never met Sqn.Ldr. Chandramouli during my Air Force days. And, hardly spoken to him a couple of times in JVV. But his knowledge about JVV and other ‘worldly matters’ has impressed me a lot. His conviction of certain ‘wrong’ decisions of BOM during the AGMs and the subtle humour in his emails/comments  when he mentions about them are a treat.There are plenty of points that he brings out, add to our GK. Another person whose emails/comments I look forward to is the much mistaken and ‘unsung hero’ Cdr.Satpathi. Of course, I miss the wisdom of Air Cmde Murugan.

Swatch Bharat, CLEAN INDIA will become a reality only with every one’s participation. Same is the case with JVV. Not only external cleanliness but ‘inner one too’.

Let us be active players instead of just remaining as ordinary ‘jalra’ players! I am acutely aware that you have to have some ‘special talents’ even to be a JP [ not me but a Jalra Player]

______________________

Thanks, Jayaprakash.Nice to hear good words from a friend.Few friends during my morning walk ask me the same question why have I stopped participating in these discussions in the E mail groups on the affairs of JVV.I said that “every thing in this world has a definite End”. This activity too perhaps is nearing its closure.This answer did not satisfy, of course.
To tell you the truth,my advice (You called it flatteringly as Wisdom) on the matters affecting JVV is a devalued commodity.It had no value to the recent BOMs nor to those movers and shakers who operate behind the screen.Its incremental gain is close to zero (at the knee of the curve).It is purely waste of time to advise those who pretend to listen but know that it has no value to them.Silence is a better way to avoid good advice that does not contribute towards their aim.In fact, I think that it is futile to advise those who needed no advice.When I hear accusations of bribe etc in JVV, it not only makes me very sad but also demotivated.
Further my health does not permit me to sit long hours at the computer even though mails from JVV are very few.From other groups, I get more than 150 mails every day. I spent more time deleting them than answering those few that do require some kind of intervention.I confine myself to Veteran issues, mainly pension, some Health information useful to a larger audience of Senior Citizens and some matters concerning Defence, strategy and inter service issues.Perhaps, I may have to stop even these limited interactions in a year or two.
I liked your Blog.Especially last one about your Nepali friends.I was in GCT sometime before I was transferred to Guindy to do my engineering degree in Electronics (telecom). Why don’t you send them directly to my E mail ID.
Warm Regards,
S.Murugan.
Air Cmde. 
Aside

(photo from the internet – theguardian.com)

The powerful message is when MOTHER NATURE lets out her fury, nothing can remain the same. The Nepal earthquake of 7.9 magnitude is truly devastating. The more you ‘see it’ on the 24×7 TV channels [I prefer ‘TimesNow’] your heart is filled with sadness. I feel much more ’cause I have traveled to Nepal three times and have very good friends there.

We had three Nepali students who had come to study in GCT, Coimbatore under the COLOMBO plan as the student exchange was known then. I was very friendly with all of them -Upendra Prasad Dhital, my course mate who went on to head the Nepal Airport Authority, Gautam Bahadur Amatya, who rose to head the Kathmandu water board as Chief Engineer and Girija Prasad Ghimire, who became a minister as he was a Nepali Congress leader.

The first time I went to Kathmandu was in 1970 after completing my engineering course from GCT along with Upendra. I remember the long train journey from Coimbatore, the couple of days halt at Calcutta [we stayed at RG Kar Medical College hostel where Upendra’s cousins were studying, at the height of Naxal Problem in West Bengal], reaching Raxaul, Bihar by train and crossing over to Birganj a Nepal border town. Due to bad weather, our flight was cancelled and we had to take a bus that reached Kathmandu in the night. When we reached UP’s house in Paknajole, Naya Bazaar the children in the house were very curious to see his South Indian friend. After a couple of days, when I became familiar with the family, I asked his elder brother- Dhaju in Nepali, why was the rather strange and curious reception by the childern, he laughed and said,’since they were told that a South Indian friend was coming, they expected to see a very dark skinned person and not a fair skinned one’. I was treated as part of the family and I still carry very pleasant memories of my First Trip.

The second time was in 1980. I did my Basic Mountaineering Course at HMI,Darjeeling as an Indian Air Force Officer. After completion of the course, I had called my wife to join me at the beautiful Darjeeling and along with my son who was about three, flew to Kathmandu. Upendra was away but Gautam and Ghimire looked after us well for the couple of days we spent in Kath.

The third time was in 2000. By then, I had taken voluntary retirement from IAF and living in New Delhi. We were invited by Gautam to stay with him at his house in Kopundole, Lalitpur, Kathmandu. Along with his charming wife Kenny and children Sarina and Karina, he treated us in royal style. Along with his family, Upendras and other friends, we had a wonderful 2000 New Year bash. Sadly, my great friend Gautam passed away a few years back.

When I heard the news about the latest earth quake on 25th April, our first instinct was to find out about Kenny and the girls. After what appeared to be a long wait, atlast, Kenny answered the mobile call towards the afternoon and confirmed that she and her daughter were safe. Along with the neighbours, they have moved to a open ground as a precaution. We were greatly relieved to know that they were safe.

And, Kenny Gautam Bahadur Amatya was very grateful and felt happy that her family friends living so far away in South India remembered and had a word of comfort for them. We, as Indians, never forget our friends where ever they are in this world and remember the adage ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’.

We are also happy and proud that Prime Minister Modi has galvanized the entire government machinery to render all possible help to Nepal at this hour of need. Nepal, we are with you to share your sorrow and sufferings!

Paying Property Tax ONLINE + 50% concession for Defence Personnel

Sqn Ldr C S Chandramouli, 453 JVV informs

This mail is to answer many queries i had received from residents on payment of property tax on line.
Property tax for 2015-16 is due for payment. If you pay before the end of this month, you can avail discount.

Follow these steps to make payment on line.

1.    Go to this link, to go to main page.

http://1113.sasbbmp.com/Forms/frm_OnlinePayment_MainPage.aspx

2.    click current assessment year : year 2015-16

3.    Enter one of the details in the column given, reproduced below

Please Enter The SAS 2008-09 Application No.:     Or Old PID:   or   New PID:

4.    select the owner name

5.    click continue

6.    In the next page select you ward No. which is Kacharakanahalli [29].   All other details will come automatically.  Select mode of payment.  If it is credit/debit card, select IDBI, out of three that will show up.  submit.  The next page is for payment through credit card.  Enter all details asked for, to complete transaction.

7.   When the transaction is complete, receipt will appear.  Take a print out of this receipt.

 

Property Tax – 50% for Armed Forces in Karnataka

 

50% concession for defence personnel
You are required to send an application to Joint Director, Dept. of Sainik, welfare and Resettlement at Bangalore to issue a certificate for claiming exemption of 50% property tax as per section 94 A (b) of Karnataka Municipality Act 1964 ( Karnataka Act 22 of 1964).  The following documents are to be attached along with this application.
a)    Copy of Ex-Serviceman Card issued by Sainik Welfare Board, Bangalore
b)    Copy of service record on retirement
c)    Copy of sale deed/building sale letter
c)    Copy of Katha
d)    Copy of tax paid receipt.
You have to fill up SAS Application, workout the tax to be paid with the concession, attaching the following.
1.    Green Form (Waste management cess)
2.    Concession grant certificate from Sainik Welfare Board, Bangalore
3.    ID card by Sainik Welfare Board, Bangalore
4.    ID card of retired officer
5.    Receipt 2008-2009.
6.    Receipt 2012-13 or the latest.
7.    Certificate in Kannada (self declaration)
I am addressing this mail to groups too for information so that those, who have not availed such concession so far, can also take action.

For any clarifications, please feel free to contact.

Sqn Ldr C S Chandramouli (Retd)
453 Jalvayuvihar
Kammanahalli Main Road
Bangalore 560043
Ph 080 23682453

Exclusive website for JVV, Bangalore

I am repeating this post basically with the intention of how the JVVians can see/get all the important notices/ notifications and at the same time to show their gyan and be heard.in the privacy of home, if we so desire. Simply said, get and give. With no commercial or commonfloor interference [pun intended]! This can be done by having our own EXCLUSIVE weblog – call it a website or a blog. And ABSOLUTELY FREE!! Or if we want to be ABSOLUTELY EXCLUSIVE with a domain extension like .IN or .CO, it may cost us a ‘royal’ sum of Rs.99/- per year. Yes, per year. This weblog, under the control and command of BOM can have pages like,

  •  Notices
  •  By Laws / AGM minutes
  •  Burning Topics [participation open to all ‘registered’ owners of JVV]
  •  Who is who [JVV Directory]
  •  Pictures

The home page can have the Names and Pictures of BOM with important telephone numbers. Pages need not be limited but participation in terms of comments etc can be restricted to only JVVians. The BOM can have an INTERNAL DISCUSSION page that is password protected and available only for BOM members. Now the million dollar question is who is going to maintain this weblog? Simple, I am sure all the members of BOM are familiar with PC systems and basic internet and hence NO EXTERNAL help may be required. Or, yours truly, though living in the far off mountains (not yet become a saint or sanyasi) can volunteer to maintain as a tribute to the great JVV. By the way, for those who want to ‘have a dekho ‘ please visit my website www.badaga.co that has more than 361,000 hits or http://www.jalvayuvihar.wordpress.com [with more than 17,000 hits] The future is in DIGITAL CONNECTIVITY. Let us grab it. For FREE!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Email to every flat owner

Concerning emails  and connecting all JVVians…. I feel like pulling out the hair on my head [though, unfortunately not much is left]. In this age of advanced internet technology, we still seem to live in a frustrating situation. The ‘official agency‘ responsible for this, in my opinion, is the BOM, ie., Secretary and/or the Estate Manager with the email ID of “jvv540@gmail.com” . We do not get important emails/notifications because the Sec/EM, probably assumes that by sending the email to a few groups like jvvbangalore@googlegroups.com , jalvayu-vihar-apartments@commonfloor.com, or JVV-BLR-forum@apartmentadda.com, everybody is informed. NOT SO. Many apartment owners may not be members of any one of these groups mainly because of emails getting repeated with the addtions/opinions of the ‘learned lot’ who forget that there is a ‘delete’ key that can be effectively used when they add their own gyan [opinion and comments] on any topic under the sun. All that the Secetary/EM has to do is to send the intended information/notification to INDIVIDUAL apartment owner to the specific email ID which he/she has given to the office/registered with commonfloor, by including them in BCC [Blind Carbon Copy] when sending the email to the above mentioned groups. Yes, for the first time, this would be a bit of ‘tedious typing of the addresses’ since there may be 540 email IDs [at the max]in BCC. But, the next time, GMAIL , yahoo mail, hotmail etc will take care by popping up ‘suggested’ addresses/email IDs. I am suggesting BCC instead of CC [Carbon Copy] because CC addressee is visible to ‘all’ while BCC addressees are hidden. So the second time the email is sent to any group, if the sec/em takes care to add everyone under BCC, the same will reach every one with NO INDIVIDUAL MAIL ID BEING MADE PUBLIC. This avoids unnecessary exposure and unsolicited spam. There are many more ‘sophisticated’ means and methods of reaching out each and every JVVian, provided, the ‘individuals’ are interested in being inclusive and not complain that they are receiving unwanted/repeat ‘doses’ of the same emails with a comment added here and there. If any one is interested, many alternatives can be suggested. By the way, a small suggestion to ‘individuals’ – have you ever thought of having an exclusive email ID like  jvv001 or jvv01 or jvv1 for Flat No.1 and so on? My ID is jvv23@gmail.com ( as my Flat #  is 23. Similar to what we have in case of BSNL centrix telephone number[2001 for flat no.1]?

Dear JP-Sir,

The very idea behind the formation of JVV common floor was to have some kind of common official forum where all the official matters related to JVV can be discussed thread-bare without fear or favor. However, unfortunately while most members have registered to the group, there are several members who haven’t registered and miss out on important communication.
At the same time, this forum should not be used for discussing other matters not related to JVV. There are other groups like jvvbangalore@googlegroups.com, where people are welcome to discuss any matters under the sun. I used to be a part of that group earlier, but very soon I discovered that i’m not able to keep up with the number of topics being discussed on that forum and that i won’t lose much sleep by not reading those topics of discussions so i had opted out.
Also, I see that several important discussions regarding water-tank and society registration are being discussed on the unofficial forums without ever making it to the official forum created for the benefit of the society. I’ve also observed that whenever a new BOM is constituted, they come with their own new mindset and it takes time for them to implement the official communications systems that was so effectively set up by AVM Thusu a few years back when we signed up withcommonfloor.com website.
One possible remedy is to add the official communication mechanism to the bye-laws of the society and make everybody abide by the same including preventing of spam emails. The centrex number-scheme can also be amended to the bye-laws. However, getting a consensus amongst this group is next to impossible:-)
Creating a separate email id only for JVV communications does not scale well, as people might never check their jvv email ids unless it is their primary email.
Regards,
Manish
C-345, JVV
Aside

Jal Vayu Vihar, Kammanahalli Main Road, Bangalore is a landmark in Bangalore. Being associated with it, that too as an owner of a flat, is an honour.

Though the majority of the residents are ex-fauji and are used to a strict ‘regimental and regulated’ life, some times, this gets reflected in the present ‘civilian – call it, retired’ life in a negative way. We tend to be close minded and refuse to accept new ideas and realities.

Take for example -BOM, Board of Managers, elected every year to run the everyday affairs of this great gated community. While those elected are the ones who have volunteered to ‘face the music’, the majority of us, the so called OWNERS of the flats, unfortunately, are eternal cribbers. In everything we tend to see ‘red’ and pick on the BOM. This, surely, kills the initiative and enthusiasm of the brave ‘VOLUNTEERS’ who have dared to accept the ‘ungrateful job’.

But let me hasten to add the ‘other side of the story. Some of the elected/selected members of BOM, become ‘tigers’ overnight and tend to treat the rest as mere mortals with no mind of their own. Prey waiting to be pounced at!

With all that, let us remember, that JVV is one of the best gated community in Bangalore. My friend Wg Cdr Thomas Vergheese, corrects me that JVV is one of the best in the COUNTRY. Fully agreed.

Still so much more can be done by ALL. With cooperation, we can ‘create wealth’ within and drastically reduce the ‘overall’ expenses in running the day to day affairs of JVV.

GEO who is doing roaring business in many areas, started of from our shopping complex. Remember the days when Kammanahalli was considered a ‘Kaadu- forest’ and people would come to JVV for basic needs like making STD phone calls from his shop/booth, a couple of DECADES ago?

Wg Cdr Thomas Verghese’s initiative of establishing ‘FRIENDS OUTLET’ is an example of how an out of box idea can bring in benefits to all.

We must, keeping our differences away, join in endevours like his. I dream of a day when JVV brings nothing but JOY.

For a start, let us make JVV a ‘HOT SPOT’ – I am talking about free WI-FI in all flats; Start a BONSAI club; Solar street lights with LED bulbs inside the colony etc etc

Jal & Vayu stand for greater heights and daring depths.Let us reach them.

Limitation is only in our minds. Open it up!

Ache din aane wale hi!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thomas Verghese ( Owner of Sector D, 529 ) Replied :
JP Sir, Thank you for your kind words.
Wi-Fi spots with a Low Tariff in clusters was being thought of by a few of us. There were other plans also like – small portable water trolleys with pumps to reach emergency water requirements instead of being at the mercy of Water Bowser Mafias – Gp Capt PU Bhat and the previous BOM team were looking at Solar Power generation and heating from above MPH and in clusters. We have experts in the field within JVV itself – Mr Vinay Shetty of Flat 19 and Cdr Venugopal of Flat 237
We could not pursue these & other ideas as we could not figure out the way to meet the initial overhead expenditures or because of ‘change of guard’. All BOMs have had well meaning people but end up in ‘Fire Fighting’ or get bogged down with Litigation.  The AGMs, many times, become ‘Debating Clubs’ more to prove ‘Who is right, instead of What is right’. We are generally unable to arrive at a consensus during the AGM or afterwards to work for the common good due to various reasons.
There is no need for any despondency, as all this must be an evolving issue of any group or community of diverse backgrounds. I hope and pray that God will give us the wisdom to realize the futility of clashing with conflicting ideas and work instead towards consensus solutions (Possible & Not Utopia!!!).
In the interim it would be great, if you could think of ‘Revenue’ generation on the lines mentioned in earlier mail or through other ideas. The ideas for implementation need to be nurtured with ‘Hand Holding’ by professionals and experts from within or outside JVV. These projects need not necessarily be done through the BOMs (ideal) but through other small groups with BOM’s  approval. They should be without any financial outflow from JVVAOA funds requiring the long tedious path of AGM approval.

We need your help.

With Best Wishes,
Thomas Verghese
~~~~
S.Bharaktiya [B192]
Dear Mr. Thomas, It is nice to read your mails as your are always striving to make JVV better, though it is already the best place in Bangalore.

Towards this aim, revenue generation can happen by offering amenities for which the residents are ready to spend. On this list is the developing of recreation facilities like indoor games above MPH on which you can put solar panels if you so desire.  There could be a card room, table tennis etc wherein middle and elder  residents could also participate. A hang out place like coffee shop for teenagers to elders. There is subsidy on solar installation so you cost of building the hall above Mph will be very little.
Revenue generation by providing water by tanker, will be possible only if you have truck mounted one and could be franchisee set up or in house. Hoardings on the periphery.
Revenue model for the conversion of domestic waste to gas and manure would be inline with the times.
The other approach is expenditure reduction.  The largest expenditure to my knowledge is water, to reduce this go for RWH or STP. In the latter case you will get manure for sale. For this you can approach the area MP for finance from Mplad scheme or the MLA.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr Oswald Pereira ( Tenant of Sector A, 006 ) :
It is always a pleasure to see how so many of the so called owners strive to make JVV a Ultra Super Colony to live in,
I would like to bring in a few points here for revenue generation, without any extra efforts:
1. Bring all apartment owners under one umbrella, who are outside of the colony or out of Bangalore and rent/sell their flats. Friends Outlet could be engaged by the association on profit sharing model
This will benefit in eliminating crooks and unscrupulous elements from compromising the quality of JVV in terms of security and any unlawful exposure. This will help increase the revenue and ensure the colony is maintained in its true regimental spirit
2. Auction the outlets built on the erstwhile garbage dumping spots in a fair manner. Allotting them to a known few without an auction will limit our scope for a better deal
3. There are a number of silver oak trees just rotting and posing danger. They have commercial value. Selling them to timber/plywood industry will fetch good income, in lakhs of rupees, to the association. Re-plant other trees which serve for greenery and have commercial value as well
~~~~~~~~~~~~

JP replies : It is really nice to see that we are getting many positive comments on ‘OUR DISCUSSIONS’ to make JVV the best in Bangalore and beyond.

First of all, one of the mistakes, we – the so called apartment owners, have committed is treating the TENANTS as OUTSIDERS. High time we fully involve and integrate them into our system. We must invite them to our AGMs as non -voting guest members.

I am fully in support of what Mr.Oswald has suggested. Wg Cdr Thomas Verghese’s “FRIENDS OUTLET’ could be officially named as our ‘Real Estate Agents’ on mutually beneficial profit sharing basis. A win-win situation.

Yes, silver oak trees are indeed of commercial value. Recently we have sold a large number of trees from our tea estates. The price depends on the girth [the circumference of the tree at a height of 5ft from the ground] and the height of the tree. The price could be anything from Rs.5000 to Rs.10,000/- per tree. The saw mills readily buy them [aren’t there a couple of them very close to JVV?]. They cut the trees to 8 or 10 feet lengths to cart off. These cut into slices and made as packing cases for export as well to be used in centering work for building work.

Yes, we can also plant more Silver Oak trees and see for ourselves that ‘money grows on trees’ apart from going green. The forest department gives the tree saplings FREE.

I am sure there are many more ‘commercially viable’ ideas. Welcome to the world of wealth creation !

Aside

A SOLDIER’S FATHER

By Wing Commander VENKI IYER

The helicopter appeared over the late morning horizon. We were to receive Mr Lachhman Singh Rathore who was visiting our flight to perform the last rites of his son, Flying Officer Vikram Singh.

Only the day before, I had sent the telegram, “Deeply regret to inform that your son Flying Officer Vikram Singh lost his life in a flying accident early this morning. Death was instantaneous.” It was the first time for me, to meet and manage the bereaved next of kin.
While most wives and mothers insist on seeing the body, many a time there isn’t a body to show. Flying Officer Vikram Singh’s remains were only a few kilos – scrapped from what was left in the cockpit. We had to weigh the wooden coffin with wood and earth.

The pilot brought the helicopter to a perfect touchdown. Soon Mr Lachhman Singh Rathor was helped down the ladder. A small man of 73 years clad in an immaculate dhoti. As I approached him, he asked in a near whisper, “Are you Venki, the Flight Commander?” “Yes Sir.” “Vikram had spoken to me about you. I’d like to speak to you alone for a minute.” We walked to the edge of the concrete apron. ‘I have lost a son, and you have lost a friend. I’m sure that you have taken great care in arranging the funeral. Please tell me when and where you want my presence and what you want me to do. I’ll be there for everything. Later, I would like to meet Vikram’s friends, see his room and, if it is permitted, visit his work place. I then would like to return home tomorrow morning.” A commander couldn’t have given me clearer instructions.

The funeral, with full military honours, was concluded by late afternoon. After the final echoes of the ‘Last Post’ faded away Lachhman Singh spent the evening talking to the Squadron Pilots. Vkram’s roommate took him to see Vikram’s room. Lachhman Singh desired to spend the night in his son’s room instead of the guest house we had reserved for him. Early next morning after a tour of the squadron area, my boss took him to his office. A while later the staff car took Lachhman Singh to the civil airfield two hours away.

As the car disappeared round the corner, I remarked to my Boss, “A brave man he is. Spoke to me like a General when he told me exactly what he expected from us during his stay here. I admire him.”

“Yes Mr Lachhman Singh Rathore is a warrior in his own way. He sired three sons. His first son Captain Ghanshyam Singh of the Gurkha Rifles was killed in Ladakh in 1962. His second son, Major Bir Singh, died along the Ichogil Canal in 1965. His youngest, Vikram Singh, who had the courage to join the Air Force, is also gone now. This simple farmer has contributed more to our country’s defence than any other I know.”

Yes, he is a brave Indian

But he does not get a “bharat ratna”. A millionaire who earned by endorsements gets it

Health Tips

This message is from a group of Doctors in India:

(forwarded in public interest)

1) Do not drink APPY FIZZ. It contains Cancer causing agent..
2) Don’t eat Mentos before or after drinking Coke or Pepsi because the Person will die immediately as the mixture becomes CYANIDE..
3) Don’t eat Kurkure because it contains high amount of Plastic.If you don’t believe burn Kurkure and you can see Plastic melting!
(News report from “Times of India”)
4) Avoid these Tablets, they are very dangerous:

* D-cold
* Vicks Action-500
* Actified
* Coldarin
* Cosome
* Nice
* Nimulid
* Cetrizet-DThey contain Phenyl Propanol-Amide PPA. Which causes Strokes & Are banned in USA…!Drs of the United States have found new cancer in human beings, caused by Silver Nitro Oxide. Whenever you buy recharge cards, don’t scratch with your nails, as it contains Silver Nitro Oxide coating and can cause skin cancer. Share this message with your loved ones.
Important Health Tips:
Answer phone calls with the left ear.
  • Don’t take your medicine with cold water….
  • Don’t eat heavy meals after 5pm.
  • Drink more water in the morning, less at night.
  • Best sleeping time is from 10pm to 4 am.
  • Don’t lie down immediately taking medicine or after meals
  • When phone’s battery is low to last bar, don’t answer the phone, bcos the radiation is 1000 times stronger.
Dont Drink Tea in Plastic Cups & Dont Eat Any Food on Polythene Paper. The plastic reacts to heat & It Will Cause 52 Types of Cancers.
[Vydianathan.Iyer – JVV]

A Bit Of History

recd as fwd email- courstesy S/L Chandramouli

Top 10 Greatest Kings in Indian History

India is probably one of the richest countries in the world in terms of its history and heritage; in terms of rulers and ruling clans. Thousands of years have passed and the country has seen several dynasties, rulers, emperors and conquerors. While those at power in the present day strive to annihilate the country, let us take a look at some of the greatest kings that ruled this land prior to it becoming a hotbed for pseudo-secular political drama. The top 10 greatest kings in Indian history shaped the path we walk on now.

10. Maharana Pratap:
He was a Hindu Rajput ruler of Mewar, a region in north-western India in the present day state of Rajasthan. Known for his gallantry and magnanimity, Maharana Pratap opposed the Mughals, particularly Emperor Akbar. Chittor was conquered by the Mughals; Maharana Pratap won back most of his territory except his cherished Chittor. He had pledged to sleep on the floor and live in a hut until he won Chittor back from the Mughals which unfortunately he never accomplished in his life time.
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/Maharana-Pratap_zpsrsukqj2y.jpg

9. Chandragupta I:
He was a major king in Indian history and also the founder of the Gupta Dynasty. He is believed to have formed several alliances with powerful houses through marriages into those families. He was the Gupta Emperor from 320–335 CE and called himselfMaharajadhiraj which means king of kings to show his superiority over others. He ruled over territories like Prayag (Allahabad), Saket (Oudh) and Magadh (south Bihar).

http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/Chandragupta-I_zpskpp3plaf.jpg
8. Samudragupta:
He was the successor of Chandragupta I belonging to the Gupta Dynasty and was the greatest king of that dynasty. Samudragupta is the ruler who is known to have ushered in the Golden Age of India. A great warrior, a connoisseur of art and a generous ruler, Samudragupta was chosen for succession by his father inspite of him not being the eldest of his sons. Another quality that he is remembered for is his tolerance and patronage for other religions.

http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/Samudragupta_zpsspd6ttrt.jpg

7. Ranjit Singh:
Ranjit Singh was the founder of the Sikh Empire based in Punjab in the early half of the 19th century. During his rule he brought the whole of the central Punjab from the Sutlej to the Jhelum under his sway. His empire was based on the foundations of the Khalsa with opportunities for accession to commanding positions not restricted only to the Sikhs. He was a tolerant king and was also known as the “Maharaja of Punjab”.

http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/Ranjit-Singh_zpsq0tzmljd.jpg

6. Prithviraj Chauhan:
Prithvi Raj III was a king of the Hindu Chauhan dynasty. He ruled the kingdom of Ajmer and Delhi after succeeding to the throne at the young age of 20 and ruled much of present-day Rajasthan and Haryana. His elopement with the daughter of Jai Chandra Rathod of Kannauj, Samyukta , is a popular romantic tale of Indian history. But he is more importantly remember for having defeated Muhammad Ghori in the First Battle of Tarain in 1191 and later killing him during an archery show when blinded and imprisoned by the latter in 1192.

http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/Prithviraj-Chauhan_zpsdc5tvoy4.jpg

5. Kanishka:
Kanishka, also known as Kanishka the Great, was an emperor of the Kushan Dynasty. His empire extended from Turfan in the Tarim Basin to Pataliputra on the Gangetic plain. With Pataliputra as his main capital, his reign was famous for its military, political, and spiritual achievements. He also had regional capitals as far as present-day Bagram in Afghanistan. Kanishka was a great patron of Buddhism and is still today considered as one of the greatest Buddhist Kings of India.

http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/Kanishka_zpsiem12fyl.jpg

4. Shivaji:
Shivaji Bhosale was the founder and the greatest king of the Maratha Empire. Hailing from the Bhosle Maratha clan, he created an independent Maratha kingdom with Raigad as its capital. He was crowned as Chhatrapati for leading the struggle against the Adilshahi sultanate of Bijapur and the Mughal Empire. He is remembered as a great warrior and a hero who united most of India against the Mughals. Shivaji is also known for pioneering the guerilla warfare methods using geography, speed, and surprise for attacks against more powerful and larger enemies.

http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/Shivaji_zps8k6mej2z.jpg

3. Ashoka:
Ashoka is also known as Samraat Chakravartin. He belonged to the Maurya Dynastyand ruled from ca. 269 BCE to 232 BCE. He reigned over most of the Indian subcontinent from the modern Iranian provinces of Khorasan, Sistan and Balochistan (unpartitioned), through the Hindukush Mountains in Afghanistan, to the Indian state of Assam in the east, and as far south as northern Kerala and Andhra Pradesh. He is attributed to the global spread of Buddhism and the emblem of modern India is derived from the Lion Capital of Ashoka.

http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/Ashoka_zps0vtinqtx.jpg

2. Akbar:
Akbar was the Mughal Emperor from 1556 until his death. The third ruler of the Mughal Dynasty, he succeeded Humayun at a very young age. He went on to become one of the greatest rulers in Indian history and the greatest Mughal Emperor, too. His empire included nearly all of the Indian Subcontinent north of the Godavari river and he consolidated the same using marriage alliances and diplomacy. Akbar is known to have been a liberal ruler who believed in cultural integration.

http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/akbar_zpsaitzmjls.gif

1. Chandragupta Maurya:
Chandragupta Maurya was the founder of the Mauryan Empire and believed to be the first Emperor to have united India into one state. The Mauryan Empire under Chandragupta Maurya was the largest empire in Indian history up until that time. With his chief advisor Chanakya, he built a strong central administration and economy. He is undoubtedly one of the greatest rulers in Indian history known to have conquered Alexander the Great’s easternmost satrapies.http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah243/v3xz/Chandragupta-Maurya_zps82jtrifq.jpg

Aside
(recd as a fwd mail)

GED stands for General Educational Development and is an exam which can be taken direct or online.

The following questions were in last year’s GED examination… 

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)…

Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. 
(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true)

Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death.

What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull. (Super)

How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant)

How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U… Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.

What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby

What is the most common form of birth control 
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)

Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in  Rome .

What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. 
(Irrefutable)

What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.(brilliant)

What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.

AND TO THINK,  SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ALREADY MAY BE IN WASHINGTON!